I am not much of a “girly-girl”. I don’t know if this is from living with two boys and a husband on “Testosterone Island,” but I don’t wear a lot of make up, I would rather watch wrestling than a soap opera, and I hate glitter.

Strangely, I’m also not a big fan of “chick flicks”.

It’s taken me a long time to figure out what it is about these love stories that makes me kind of crazy, but I think I may have finally figured it out. See, most of these stories are based on unlikely loves brought together by predictable happenstance that results in drippy-sweet romance that could give any normal human a cavity.

This is not the part that bothers me though, not really. I think the part of these all too predictable stories that bothers me is the emphasis that is always put on the “newness” of the romance, the electricity that is between these two supposedly unlikely lovers. Now, I realize that it can be real, it can be exciting, and it can be fantastic, but it doesn’t have to be what makes the romance great.

I think what makes romance really exciting is when someone is willing to put forth the effort when the “newness” has turned into familiarity. Song of Songs (Solomon) is quite the love story. It is a very sensual book that some say is an allegorical story about God’s love for us or is an actual story about King Solomon and his young bride. The book walks us through how they felt about one another through their courtship, engagement, and wedding.

I love what she says in 8:3 “Your left arm would be under my head, and your right arm would embrace me.” (Song of Songs 8:3 NLT) And he talks to her in verse 8:13 “O my darling, lingering in the gardens, your companions are fortunate to hear your voice. Let me hear it, too!” (Song of Songs 8:13 NLT)

When you read this you can tell she is yearning, confident, deliberate and specific concerning the intimacy with her husband just as he is in wanting to be with his wife. That, to me, is pure romance.

That is what causes the spark that leads to a fire in a relationship. It is not always about the new, it is about knowing the familiar. When two people are willing to communicate, to take the time to get to know each other not just physically but spiritually and intellectually and to work on bringing out the best in one another, that is powerful.

It is rarely easy, but it is always worth it, that is what makes it so romantic. It takes effort. A new or secret or unlikely relationship is usually easy, but one that has stood the test of time takes work. That’s why an unexpected date night or a candlelit anything or maybe a long kiss in the kitchen can take a breath away.

There is something to be said for a husband that knows just how to place his hand on his wife’s face to make her weak in the knees, or a wife that knows how to wrap her hand around her husband’s arm to make him feel empowered and strong. These “familiar” relationships deserve to be celebrated.

They deserve romance.

So, I may not be into the mooshy-gooshy, girly stuff, but I am definitely in to romance. I am definitely in to what the Song of Songs has to offer. And, I am definitely in to what is “familiar” to me.