{"id":108,"date":"2019-06-01T05:42:35","date_gmt":"2019-06-01T11:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/?p=108"},"modified":"2019-06-01T06:00:20","modified_gmt":"2019-06-01T12:00:20","slug":"so-this-is-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/?p=108","title":{"rendered":"So This Is Me…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

So this is me\u2026
\nWell, kinda.
\nI am just shy of 48 years old and some days I can really feel it. My lashes may be \u2018enhanced\u2019 and I haven’t seen my real hair color in at least a decade, but this is the me you see.
\nSeveral years ago the Lord very strongly convicted me about hiding the real me. He knew that I wanted desperately for people to see only the side of me that I chose instead of who I really was. For me, that revealing began with Him telling me to stop wearing makeup. Of course He asked me to do this just as I was preparing to speak to 400 teenage girls! For the Queen of Testosterone Island, there are few more terrifying places to be than standing in front of that much hormonally charged estrogen! Out of horrified obedience, I did it. I spoke without a drop of makeup. I felt very raw, bare, vulnerable and yet, free.
\nI am in no way saying wearing makeup is wrong or that others should stop. I am saying that this was a very strong instruction to me personally from the Lord. It had so much less to do with makeup specifically and so much more to do with my obedience and willingness to do what He asked. I had been hiding and this was my first step to being real. Really real.
\nI don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever been in that spot but to be confronted by the One that knows you completely is very humbling. There was no hiding despite my best efforts.
\nThis examination required me to ask myself this question: Who am I trying to impress?
\nIf the answer was my husband, my makeup wouldn\u2019t matter. From the beginning of our relationship he has always said he thought I was pretty with or without it. Admittedly I haven\u2019t always believed him because of how I feel about myself at times. However, I put him to the test with this when I showed up for our first date with zero makeup on. I also wore only mascara for our wedding. He has never wavered in his opinion so the make up wasn\u2019t for him.
\nIf the answer was for my God well, He had already given His opinion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.\u201d<\/em>
\u202d\u202d1 Timothy\u202c \u202d2:9-10\u202c \u202dNLT (emphasis mine)
So the only logical answer to the question of who was I trying to impress was\u2026the world.
Futile.
This was a tough realization for a girl who had always claimed to not care what other people thought of her. I did care. A lot. Too much.
This was what God was trying to show me. I was hiding because I cared more about what the world thought of me than what He thought of me. He made me beautiful in His eyes and asks me to live like it. He blinded my husband in such a way that he sees ME and loves me anyway. Truly, what more could a girl want?
My hope is that we as God\u2019s little girls (women who not only believe in Jesus, but desire to follow Him) will let Him open our eyes to what He sees in us\u2026the beauty of Jesus. That by the \u201cgood things we do\u201d with a heart that runs after His, we will show the world how beautiful we really are. May we accept the love He graciously lavishes on us as His children.
Be real, be free because He loves you perfectly my Sister\u2026with or without make up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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So this is me\u2026 Well, kinda. I am just shy of 48 years old and some days I can really feel it. My lashes may be \u2018enhanced\u2019 and I haven’t seen my real hair color in at least a decade, but this is the me you see. Several years ago the Lord very strongly convicted […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[100,98,99],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=108"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":113,"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108\/revisions\/113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kathyaddis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}